Alaskan Empireball

Alaskan Empireball,  also known as Aléscöball, is secretly a 6ball a countryball located primarily in northern North America. She is the second-largest countryball on Earth, behind only PAFball, but is currently the world's dominant superpower alongside  USAball,   Fake Chinaball,  Eurasian Unionball,     EUball and  Brazilball.

Personality
Despite always being depicted as female, Aléscöball is a virile and extremely macho countryball, but this does not make her a cartoony "butch lesbian" archetype. In fact, because she has the lowest sex ratio of any countryball (0.25) and a sex ratio at birth of just 0.00002 (1 boy born per 50,000 girls), Aléscöball is often referred to as the Vodka Kebab Amazon of the Arctic because she is the only countryball who can into all-female military. However, Aléscöball considers herself a modern-day knight because she is the only Western country who can into absolute monarchy; therefore she is chivalrous, gallant, courteous, heroic and proud and sometimes vain, and oftentimes even nurturing, as the neologism "maternal warrior" describes Aléscöball all too perfectly.

Aléscöball is often called a matriarchy because of the abnormally low sex ratio in her population and at birth, but she REALLY takes serious offense to that. The abnormally low sex ratio in her clay is because of her period under occupation by one Axis soyboy who got tired of apologizing was ass-hurt because Aléscöball wouldn't gib half her oilmonies and clay when he asked for an economic bailout. During her years under occupation by Hockey Hitler a Holocaust took place throughout her clay during which millions of  3balls and  Inuitballs were experimented on with horrible Wunderwaffe biological and chemical agents, including one called the Grey Plague, which dramatically reduced the probability of being pregnant with a son to 50000:1. Plus, most of her male population was wiped out because of World War II. Her clay never experienced the female supremacist feminist movement, particularly because Aléscöball already can into equality without feminism.

In fact, if you were to start feminism in her clay, she'll just straight up skin you alive for being a gynofascist. That is not hyperbole; ''' Aléscöball actually does flay her political opponents alive. ''' That goes for commie,  kebab,  fascist,  globalist and  Antifa. See, way back in the day when she was Alaskan Republicball, the main part of her strategy to deter a potential invasion of her clay by  Sovietball or by  Hockey Hitler in the Cold War was to make her people as psychopathic as possible, and boy, did it work. Propaganda circulating through the respective clays of the members of Warsaw Pactball and the  Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel at the time depicted her people as cannibals and daemons in human form, and was regaled with horror stories of Aléscöballs eating human flesh and wearing fine leather hats made from the flayed faces of Sovietballs unfortunate to trespass in her clay, as well as building entire cities out of the bones of Fascist Canadaballs. But then again, what else would you do when you're a new country sandwiched between two bigger, nastier ones that don't want you to exist? After some people did something jihadists tried into Islamification cultural enrichment in  USAball's clay, Aléscöball banned Islam in her clay, resulting in mosques being removed along with hundreds of thousands of kebab, who were often killed in this way; much kebab hides and leathermonies would be of gibbings to her after the whole affair.

She is often called the emo or Goth version of USAball because of her architectural style and her Aléscöi culture. The truth behind this assumption is much, much darker, however: After Sovietball removed  her adoptive father from his former clay along with Romanov and food and private property and human rights, she was inconsolable, even resorting to self-harm to cope, which is how she became an edgy emoball.

Because of her weird language which is the only Romance language that can into Cyrillic alphabet, Aléscöball is often considered to be a 6ball because she is one. Despite never having been colonized by UKball unlike nearly 25% of the world at the time, Aléscöball can speak fluent English complete with the proper spelling and all that, but when entering emotional extremes (specifically, when becoming completely unhinged) she uses the same broken Polandball grammar like the other countryballs in the Polandball universe. Typically while skinning you alive for pissing her off.

From Humble and Alien Beginnings (c.15,000 BCE-1799)
Aléscöball originated as a 6ball stranded on Earth lonesome  Inuitball who crossed the Bering land bridge to what is now North America from what is now Asia about 15,000 years ago, settling in what now comprises her clay. Her clay is comprised of several different varieties of 3balls with her fellow  Inuitballs being the largest group. For most of her pre-European history, these 3balls primarily existed as hunter-gatherer societies.

In 1741, however, the Daneball known as Vitus Bering arrived off the coast of Aléscöball's clay on an expedition commissioned by  Tsar Peter the Great of the  Russian Empireball. Six years later, Russiaballs began to make landfall at Three Saints' Bay in the Aleutian island chain of her clay, soon to become Russian clay. They were after the fur trade and their slice of North American clay, specifically the "soft gold" or sea otter fur, the softest in the world after chinchilla fur; at the time it was worth its weight in gold.

Russian Americaball (1799-1917)
At first the Russiaballs were brutal to Aléscöball, the  Inuitballs and the other  3balls in her clay. Starting in 1783, several of these Russiaballs known as promyshlennikballs would round up her  3ball brothers and sisters, using them as slave laborers to hunt furs and remove other  3balls elsewhere on the west coast of North American clay for future expansion. They would brutally put down any uprisings against them and this was the order of the day for the first 20 years of Russian rule, but eventually they stopped when the Tsarina Catherine the Great condemned the violence and ultimately decreed that no more  3balls were to be exploited for furs or in general. From 1763 onward, the Russiaballs stopped being brutal and began to treat her  3ball and  Inuitball brothers and sisters more equitably, offering them jobs in the fur trade and even having little creoleballs with them, though it would take two generations for the  3ball population to bounce back from near-extinction. Thus Aléscöball's first incarnation, Russian Americaball, was born, with her current capital city in  New Archangelball.

Come 1867, Russian Empireball had just lost the Crimean War to  UKball and  Franceball and was in need of money, but he wasn't willing to give up his only territory in North America. When USAball put forward a proposal to buy up Aléscöball's clay,  Russian Empireball turned him down, as he was convinced that  UKball would not try to invade his North American clay. Still, the possibility of UKball expanding into his North American clay instead prompted him to heavily militarize Aléscöball, so when gold was found in her clay, prospectors from the respective clays of  USAball and elsewhere around the world began pouring in by the hundreds of thousands, and much goldmonies and touristmonies would be of gibbings to  Russian Empireball and Aléscöball from the massive economic boom that followed, enabling  Russian Empireball to pay for Aléscöball's modernization.

During World War I, Aléscöball and Russian Empireball both fought on the side of the Allied Powers against the    and his friends, though  Russian Empireball pulled out of the war after the Battle of Tannenberg due to some internal problems. In 1917, the Romanov dynasty was toppled from power, and Tsar Nicholas II and the rest of  his supporters fled to Yekaterinburgball. Thus, the Russian Empireball died, and the  Soviet Unionball was born. Even though her late father pulled out of the war because of commie, Aléscöball continued to fight on in his stead until the ensuing Allied victory in 1917.

Tsardom of Alaskaball (1917-1945)
Upon hearing that commie anschlussed her adoptive father's clay, Aléscöball was very sad. As Sovietball began to remove private property and food and human rights from  Russian Empireball's former clay, she resorted to self-harm and general edgy emo shit to cope with it, even contemplating suicide. The victorious Allies decided to give her some space, as they had no way of telling if - or when - she would suddenly snap. However, when she heard that the Romanov dynasty and several of his supporters were able to flee to her clay and establish a new Tsardom from scratch, a joyous Aléscöball cut the edgy emo shit and took on her second incarnation,  Tsardom of Alaskaball, the final bastion (and eventual successor) of the  Russian Empireball on Earth. As a result of the massive influx of White Russiaballs from her father's former clay, coupled with Western investment into the development of natural resources in her own clay, Aléscöball was well on the way to becoming one of the world's great powers and eventual world superpower.

While the rest of the world suffered from the Great Depression, Aléscöball flourished as other impoverished countryballs came to her seeking economic bailouts. She was one of the few Western countryballs to escape the extreme economic collapse of the Depression, with oil being discovered in the far north of her clay in 1934. Of these impoverished countryballs seeking bailouts from her, none were more desperate than Canadaball, whose economy was so closely linked to that of  USAball and  UKball, and  Japanball, who was hit especially hard by the depression because of the limited size of his clay and lack of natural resources. Their economies were in a shambles, their infrastructure woefully crippled, their peoples could not into food or warmth and their industrial level was way behind the times. Still, that did not stop them from going to Aléscöball and seeking economic bailouts. At first they were successful in negotiation but when they asked her to gib them half of her oilmonies and the eastern part of her clay, Aléscöball kicked them both out of her clay in disgust, as she was not going to just let a pair of mooches suck her hard-won oilmonies dry. Little did Aléscöball know that neither Canadaball nor  Japanball would forget this, and that they would come back to bite her in the ass in the future.

Shortly after Aléscöball kicked him out of her clay for being a soyboy whiner asking her to gib him half of her oilmonies and clay, a despondent Canadaball suffered a severe mental breakdown from his hopeless economic situation, causing him to develop an alter ego. Civil war eventually broke out between him and his Nazi-backed doppelgänger, with USAball providing  Canadaball with money and weapons that could have been used to invade and remove fascist from  Nazi Germanyball's clay. Eventually Nazi Germanyball and  Fascist Franceball directly intervened on the side of his doppelgänger and invaded his eastern coast while the  Empire of Japanball invaded his western coast. Besieged on two sides of his clay, Canadaball's doppelgänger finally got the better of him, completely consuming him and transforming him into the  Canadian Union Stateball. The rest of the civil war involved him removing  democracy,  rosbif,  burger,  homosex,  kosher and  commie and freedom and human rights from his clay.

Come 1941, after Japanball bombed Pearl Harbor and then invaded and anschlussed  Hawaiiball, he and  Hockey Hitler turned their attention to Aléscöball to get revenge on her for not gibbing them economic bailouts and shares of her clay. In 1943, Tsar Alexei II, the last ruler of the Tsardom of Alaskaball, was among the casualties of the Axis invasion along with most of the Romanov family, yet Aléscöball refused to throw in the towel, fighting on to the bitter end. She had fought on longer than any of the other Allies, but at the end of it all, even with her vast resource wealth and well-equipped army, she was no match for the advancing Axis forces, and she ultimately surrendered on 15 September 1945, becoming an occupied territory of the  Canadian Union Stateball.

Under Hockey Hitler Canadian Occupation (1945-1959)
The years after World War II were very hard for Aléscöball. Nearly a quarter of a million White Russiaballs,  3balls and  Inuitballs died, and this was just the beginning. Under occupation by Hockey Hitler, nearly all  3balls and  Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay became slave laborers, either as expendable laborers in industrial enterprises or as bonded neo-serfs on the estates of Canadian farmers in its prairie provinces.

But perhaps the most horrifying atrocity to ever befall the 3balls and  Inuitballs was the inhumane medical experimentation performed upon them by the millions by  Hockey Hitler, such as weapons testing, drug trials, lobotomies, gas and pressure chamber trials, and even early forms of genetic splicing. The genetic splicing in particular, however, would backfire hard on Hockey Hitler in the future, leading to the creation of the modern descendants of these oppressed countryballs and future master race : The Aléscöi.

Even though the White Alaskan Army was woefully outgunned and heavily crippled after the war, it was far from defeated. In the event of inevitable anschlussing by Hockey Hitler, Aléscöball had a contingency plan in place to make the occupation of her clay as difficult and as costly as possible for him:


 * The development of the Aléscöi language, which is derived from Greek and Latin, jumbled together with the Russian language and her Inuit languages (particularly Inuktitut, which was almost extinct by this time). While it sounds like Latin and Greek being spoken in Inuit by an  Arabball, the Aléscöi language is in fact an  alien language part of the Romance language family, and is the only Romance language that can into Cyrillic alphabet. It was indecipherable to  Hockey Hitler and his minions and remains one of the hardest languages to learn, let alone master, even today.
 * The cultural and territorial unification of all 3balls,  Inuitballs and  White Russiaballs in Aléscöball's clay into a single people using the Ulle Triba ("One Tribe") strategy, which was a massive and difficult undertaking as the  3balls and  Inuitballs at the time had radical cultural differences. It took Aléscöball nearly 7 years to fully integrate all  3balls,  Inuitballs and  White Russiaballs with the Aléscöballs.
 * The adoption of military tactics, strategy, organisation and equipment used by the Axis Powers during World War II, including the strategy of blitzkrieg. This suddenly made the White Alaskan Army a much more formidable opponent.
 * The use of constant guerrilla warfare to harass and disrupt Hockey Hitler's grip over Aléscöball's clay.

In 1952 a massive rebellion took place in Aléscöball's clay which ultimately led to Hockey Hitler's surrender and withdrawal seven years later. Constant slave revolts and guerrilla attacks by the 3balls and  Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay as well as in  Hockey Hitler's own clay had left him weakened and unable to fight back against the resurgent White Alaskan Army, now supported by  USAball under General Douglas MacArthur. It was at that moment that he decided to fight another day and on 3 January 1959, his control over Aléscöball ended.

Alaskan Republicball and the Cold War (1959-2000)
At the same time that USAball liberated her clay from  Hockey Hitler, Aléscöball grew disillusioned with the fall of her monarchy. However, at least for the time being, she put her plans for restoring the Romanov dynasty to her throne on hold, and decided to become a constitutional republic instead; this resulted in her fourth incarnation, the Alaskan Republicball, being born.

Aléscöball during the latter half of the 20th Century was on par with USAball as a world superpower. She soon found herself involved in the Cold War, which was raging between four distinct factions:


 * NATOball, led by USAball and his Allied friends. In later years, after  USAball withdrew from the  UNball for its treatment of  Israelcube because it would eventually become  , it would be reformed into the alternative organizationball known as the Alliance of Democratic Nationsball, led by  USAball and Aléscöball who helped found it.
 * Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel, a fascist NATO fascist alliance led by Nazi Germanyball, whose strategy was to spread fascism to its rivals.  Hockey Hitler was part of this organization since he was part of the Axis during World War II.
 * The Warsaw Pactball, led by Sovietball, whom Aléscöball particularly hated with a passion and wanted to seek vengeance against for killing her father. In later years, long after  commie fell, it would become   vodka NATO CSTOball, which Aléscöball would also join.
 * The Greater East Asia Co-Prosperitysphere or GEACOPsphere, led by the Japanese Empireball, which sought to spread its influence across Asia and expand across the Pacific.

Aléscöball joined forces with USAball and the rest of  NATOball, as that was where her best interests lay. Around this time, Aléscöball's strategy to fend off a potential invasion of her clay by Hockey Hitler or, God forbid,  commie, began to take a very twisted and creepy turn, as a decree was passed stripping personhood from all  commies and  fascists in her clay, making it legal to hunt them for sport. Her favorite punishment for commie and  fascist in her clay was skinning them alive and turning their hides into fine leather, and this was done by the millions in the name of revenge on  commie for killing her patori even though no amount of flayed  commie would ever bring him back, as well as to deter  Hockey Hitler from trying to recapture her clay. We can all assume that her leather industry was booming all throughout the Cold War because of the sheer number of her political enemies being skinned alive.

The containment strategy of Aléscöball, USAball and the rest of  NATOball was to contain the spread of fascism and communism before it reached the Americas. Her first battle of the Cold War was against her former oppressor as part of righting a great wrong. By this time she developed her own military-industrial complex and the Federal Alaskan Army used it to great effect, finally removing  Hockey Hitler from the face of the Earth and taking all of his clay for herself in 1975, after nearly 15 years of endless war. Aside from the larger Cold War, Aléscöball was involved in several other conflicts during the Republican Period, such as removing and flaying alive commie hockey baguette rebels in 1984, supporting the  Mongol Empireball in his expansion into Central Asia to anschluss the  stans so he can into the largest landlocked country in the world, and anschlussing LIBERATING  some of  Fake Chinaball's clay in the Aléscö-Chinese War in 1999.

At the height of the Cold War, Aléscöball was now the third-largest nation on Earth, second only to USAball in military power and the size of her economy. By this time she even had her own space program which she stole from the former Hockey Hitler and by the end of the Cold War, she had at least five orbiting battlestations and her first space-based superweapon, the Daiamaltekar strategic defense satellite, which could shoot down enemy ballistic missiles and orbitally remove enemy clays with kinetic orbital strikes. She did this in 1989 to remove nukes from Sovietball's clay in the Aléscö-Soviet War, thus removing any threat that he could pose to her or the rest of  NATOball and obtaining her vengeance on him for anschlussing her patori. The threat of orbitally-launched hypervelocity rods being dropped on his clay from orbit and having no weapon to possibly counter them, combined with the destruction of almost all of his nukes, facilities to launch his nukes and production facilities to make more nukes, as well as his own internal problems, was enough to make Sovietball go tits-up on 26 December 1991, thus ending the Cold War. The remaining nine years between then and the new millennium involved the removal of commie from  Sovietball's former clay, now the clay of the newly-rehabilitated and fully-capitalist  Eurasian Unionball.

[[File:Alaskan Empire-icon.png]] I Can Finally Into Impertúa Again XAXAXAXAXAXA!!! (2000-Present) [[File:Alaskan Empire-icon.png]]
The beginning of the new millennium marked the fall of commie, and a new era for the world and for Aléscöball. Just two years earlier, the last remaining heir of the Romanov dynasty, a certain silver-haired Aléscöi woman, was finally located. This resumed Aléscöball's postponed efforts to restore the Romanovs to power in her clay, and on 1 January 2000, Aléscöball transitioned into her final and current incarnation, the Alaskan Empireball.

But with the fall of commie came the rise of an entirely new enemy of the West. After some people did something an attack by jihadists on  USAball's clay, Aléscöball joined  USAball and his allies on a crusade to remove jihad in what would be the longest conflict in  USAball’s life. During this time, Aléscöball was on high alert, suspecting that terrorists would attempt into Islamification cultural enrichment on her too, and the decision was made to ban  Islam across her clay, resulting in hundreds of mosques being torn down, and many kebab still in her clay were flayed alive by the hundreds of thousands, resulting in exploding leather stocks and a booming leather industry from all the kebab hides garnered from the kebab-removal operations. It soon became clear that kebab were no longer welcome in Aléscöball's clay.

Come 2008, USAball came down with a case of  soyboyitis, which concerned Aléscöball greatly, so she kept a close eye on him. At first the symptoms were not entirely clear other than a gradual leftward shift in his ideology, but come 2013 he began exhibiting symptoms of snowflakery, political correctness, gun-grabbing,  homosex,  creeping matriarchy and    and signs of turning into a  filthy demsoc. In response to this several states began to secede from the Union, just as the  CSAball had done so many years ago, because he enabled  jihad and  political correctness and  race riots in  USAball's clay, as well as violence against conservatives and libertarians and anything to the right of Marx in the name of social justice and establishing a one-world totalitarian government.

For the first time in nearly 170 years, USAball finally cracked under the pressure and, just like  Hockey Hitler before him, he suffered a case of schizophrenia as the  conservatives and  libertarians joined forces to remove  demsoc from his clay, thus resulting in a  Patriot uprising against the forces of   and   Using the forbidden   summoned   from the Nine Hells in his clay to try and consume  USAball so that he could eventually consume the entire Western world. To save the last truly free Western countryball from being overrun by globalism or, God forbid,   Aléscöball intervened on the side of the  patriots, invading his clay with over 5 million troops to remove  demsoc. Her involvement in the civil war saved USAball from what would have been the most horrifying overthrow of a democratic government in human history. With the help of MAGA and The Great Natonalist Awakening, Aléscöball cured  USAball of his 8-year malaise, enabling him to banish    and   back to Hell.

Today Aléscöball is one of the world's superpowers and tied with USAball as the most powerful of them all. She is currently in a cold war with  Fake Chinaball because she anschlussed LIBERATED some of his clay, and is also involved in  Indiaball's clay to remove  curry commie separatists,  Venezuelaball's clay to stop commie from spreading, and other commie removal operations around the globe. In addition, she is involved in various globalism removal operations such as removing migrants from European clay, aiding UKball so he can into Brexit, and eternally being on guard in preparation for the inevitable day that    and   will once again rise from the Nine Hells to consume the West. She also is currently supporting MAGA and his supporters so that he can into finishing the Wall and remove illegals from his clay. In fact, some say she could be responsible for the great awakening gripping the world right now...

Mei Familitia! (My Family)

 * MEI PATORI - He adopted me when I was but a lonely Inuitball. Now because of  (((FILTHY COMMIE))), he is dead, and I miss him to this day, but I am his true successor because Romanovs fled to my clay when  commie tried to remove them along with food, private property and human rights from patori's clay. I carried on your legacy, now you can finally rest in peace.  COME BACK TO ME PATORI!!! WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME?!?!?! HE KILLED YUO AND I DIDN'T SAVE YUO, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE DEAD!!! 
 * 6ball - All of the rumors are true, of course I am one of them. How else was I able to establish a world-spanning network of orbital battlestations? I am sure that there are others on Earth just like me.


 * Inuitballs - My clay has the highest concentration of them on Earth. In fact one of my official languages is Inuktitut, which I made the standard language of all Inuits. After all, I myself am one of them, and because of yei they can into one unified people because of Ulle Triba. They were nearly holocausted by Hockey Hitler at the end of WWII.
 * Precursorballs - My clay is also home to several hundred different varieties of aboriginal peoples, which you may know as "Alaskan Natives." Each tribe is a semi-autonomous entity in my clay called a Precursor Stateball. Like my own people, they were also nearly holocausted by  Hockey Hitler at the end of WWII.

Amikatorie Miraan! (Best Friends)
'If you're a right-wing, neo-nationalist, protectionist, anti-communist, anti-feminist, anti-globalist, anti-Marxist, anti-Islamist, nativist, populist libertarian patriot who likes Trump, MAGA, freedom, liberty, national sovereignty and small government, and hates globalism, feminism, mass Muslim migration, leftism, communism, socialism, "democratic" socialism, big government and especially  (((SOROS))), you are her friend whether you want to be or not.'' DO NOT TRY TO DENY THAT FACT. '''


 * Amerikeya -  ЕСУЛ ВОРТОЛАНДА РЕЙЗĀЛ МЕЙ!!!  He is my closest and most powerful ally in Amerikeya Nortai and the world because he liberated me from Hockey Hitler at the end of World War II. In return, when    rose from the Nine Hells to consume him and the rest of the West, I removed him,    from his clay, before sending him back to the Nine Hells from whence he came. I extend my congratulations to  Daiakhazarin Trump and I wish him luck in his crusade to build the wall, drain the swamp and Make Amerikeya Great Again. Everyone calls me an "emo" or "goth" version of him because of my Aléscöi culture. He can into impertúa like yei but not in the "traditional" sense
 * Polandball - Congratulations on your 100th anniversary Polonia! You are the shining beacon of Western civilization aside from me against the endless tides of kebab sweeping through Aevropia. One day you will into space, but for now we must hold the line against the kebab hordes! Cannot into space yet, but potentially can into impertúa like me
 * UKball - He is my strongest ally in Aevropia. In a way my monarchy is based on his but not really is still very much an absolute monarchy with democratic characteristics . Despite   and    trying to influencing him, he can finally into national sovereignty again, but    may try to pull him back under his boot. Was once impertúa like yei but potentially can into again
 * Franceball -  FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT JOIN YUOR FUCKING CLIMATE AGREEMENT, YUOR PRESIDENT IS A FILTHY DEMSOC WHO WANT INTO SUCKINGS OUR HARD EARNED MONIES DRY!!! REMOVE MACRON AND REMOVE GLOBALISM!!!  I feel sorry for her, she is trying to remove Macron for driving up taxes and spreading globalism in her clay, which is why the Gilets Jaunes are rioting and demanding Macron be removed from the premises. I happen to stand with them because I hate globalism, because I sense the clammy hand of   and   behind the climate agreement  WHICH I WILL NEVER JOIN EVER!!!  and I am not about to let  demsoc suck my monies dry in the name of a myth. I also hope that Marine le Pen can into becoming her president and spread MAGA after removing Macron and globalism from the premises, which is likely to happen because her National Rally now can into more seats in    parliament. But recently she suffered an attack by jihadists funded by   unfortunate fire in her cathedral which destroyed the spire. Kardai mei is with you.  BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH RESTORE THE SPIRE AS IT WAS, IF YOU MAKE IT INTO SOME GLOBALIST MOCKERY YOU AND I WILL INTO SERIOUS TALK!!! 
 * Hungaryball - Like myself and Polandball, he is a member of the anti-globalist club and a handful of countries who are not touched by    and his   In fact he has recently exiled   from his clay, plus he has gone one step further and removed  snowflakes and  gynofascist indoctrination gender studies as well. He can also into kebab/commie removal agency like me but he cannot into sea.
 * Cascadiaball - The other nation in Amerikeya Nortai with whom I share a border. He likes trees and has a Douglas fir on his flag, also he is remover of commie and  snowflake like yei but remove vegans plox . Lots of  Canadaballs fled to his clay during World War II and the regime of  (((HOCKEY HITLER))), but they are nice people. He can into 100% green economy and infrastructure and zero pollution, and he is very strict about that, but ironically like yei and  Amerikeya he doesn't believe in climate change lie propagated by  Fake Chinaball.


 * As a quick aside, it is important to mention that Cascadiaball is currently experiencing  due to the influence of    Time will tell if they will be banished back to the Nine Hells, but I hold out no hope that it will be so.
 * Nordic Unionball - VORTOLANDA IS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE AND I WILL NEVER GIVE HIM TO YUO!!! He is my enforcer in Aevropia part of the Circumpolar Commonwealth like me. I have had to bail him out in the past because of  jihadists trying into Islamification cultural enrichment in his clay. Contrary to the old saw, he is not socialist; in fact he tried socialism and it ended up biting him in the ass, so he returned to free-market capitalism like me and the rest of the glorious ADNball. Still,  Polandball and yei face the daunting task of removing kebab and political correctness from his clay. Unfortunately in recent years he has spawned forth a screeching hate-preacher who shames other countryballs for not believing in climate change hoax, but he had no control over it and we cannot into blaming him for unleashing that globalist mouthpiece. Potentially can into impertúa like yei but not really


 * Switzerlandball - He is known all over Aetotaar for his neutrality in virtually all world conflicts (though he was occupied by Germanyball's alter-ego for 25 years), his clockworking and watch-crafting skills, his breathtaking Alps and ski resorts, and his famous banks. In fact, he helped me get my banks and my national treasury started after  Amerikeya helped me remove  Hockey Hitler from my clay in 1959. He also can into high mountains like yei but I have the highest mountain and mountain range in the world XAXAXAXAXA!!! but for all his wealth he cannot into sea. May secretly be harboring    and his
 * Australiaball - He is my most important ally in the Pacific aside from Hawaiiball, but is constantly under threat from  Fake Chinaball.  Amerikeya and I guarantee his sovereignty but I take the prize as the land where everything wants to kill you . He recently was traumatized by a most unfortunate event and false flag attack that saw 49 kebab removed innocent people killed and 48 more wounded. Shame that Australia could not finish the job though. Currently he is experiencing fires started by climate change terrorists his dry season, and mei kardai is with him in this regard.
 * Catalonia - I rescued him from his abusive maitora who still try into anschluss on him. He is ever-grateful to yei for guaranteeing his aotonomitia omnie, but there are terrorists in his clay who are trying to turn him into  fascist,  commie,  demsoc or try to pull him back into his maitora's clay, which is very much the case with the other countryballs having broken away from her.
 * Andalusiaball - Perhaps the one kebab amikator of yei. He can into higher HDI than other kebab, plus he is only kebab to condemn jihadists after they attack Amerikeya some people did something. He may be kebab, but he is also enemy of  paella who try to anschluss him for the 2nd time. He also can into makings Alhambra his palace again, plus he can into only European clay with kebab majority. He is trying to get other European countryballs to send their kebab squatters to his clay so they cannot into makings Aevropia into a caliphate. He is also a big fan of a certain imam of peace like yei, which is why he tolerates Christians in his clay.
 * Volkstaatball - I WISH AFRICOMMIE WOULD STOP BURNING YUO!!! Though he was descended from  African Hitler, I forgive him because  supporters of Africommie want to burn his clay and want into holocaust on because of his history. Contrary to what Africommie says, African Hitler didn't holocaust the  Umbratorie in Volkstaat's clay unlike other members of  Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel at the time including (((HOCKEY HITLER))) but he did succeed (kinda) in his Final Apartheid policy by creating  a new bantustan on the east coast of his clay for all  Umbratorie to live in before he died, so he is the only African (European?) countryball who can into  all-white majority. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST STAYS IN THE PAST AND IF YUO KEEP TRYING TO BURN HIM I WILL SKIN YUO ALIVE AFRICOMMIE!!!
 * STAHP SUPPORTING DA WHITE COLONIZAS!!! AZANIA IS MY CLAY!!! ALL OF AFRICA IS MY CLAY!!! DA WHITE MAN ENSLAVED AND COLONIZED OUR PEOPLE FOR CENTURIES!!! AFTA WORLD WAR II DA SOUTH AFRICAN HITLA MADE MY PEOPLE SLAVE AWAY IN DA DIAMOND MINES AND DEN HE KICK DEM OUTTA DER HOMES!!! I WILL AVENGE DA MILLIONS OF  8BALLS WHO SUFFA'D AT DA HANDS OF DA WHITE DEVIL BY EXPELLING ALL DA COLONIZAS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! YUO DON'T KNOW DA WAE!!!
 * Brazilball - He is my strongest ally in Amerikeya Sotai. I have many Aléscöballs in his clay and he has many hue in mine. Congratulations to Jair Bolsonaro for defeating  that demsoc in 2018!!! Ever since that day, he is now in the process of removing    and   from his clay like yei. Was once  impertúa  like yei but potentially can into again
 * Googlelandball - (ImmortalCorvus, type it in)
 * Indiaball -  AEVERESTI IS MINE AND NO I WILL NOT GIB HIM TO YUO, I RESCUED HIM FROM FAKE CHINABALL FAIR AND SQUARE SO STAHP ASKING!!! REMOVE CURRY!!!  Mei amikator and puppet in South Asia, he is poised to become impertúa like me in the near future; plus like yei he can into the commie/kebab/wonton-remover club. Recently he suffered an attack by kebab funded by on a cathedral in his clay, kardai mei is with you and the victims. Also I am involved in removing  curry commie from our respective clays since we can both into commie removing together. Potentially can into impertúa like yei
 * Indiaball -  AEVERESTI IS MINE AND NO I WILL NOT GIB HIM TO YUO, I RESCUED HIM FROM FAKE CHINABALL FAIR AND SQUARE SO STAHP ASKING!!! REMOVE CURRY!!!  Mei amikator and puppet in South Asia, he is poised to become impertúa like me in the near future; plus like yei he can into the commie/kebab/wonton-remover club. Recently he suffered an attack by kebab funded by on a cathedral in his clay, kardai mei is with you and the victims. Also I am involved in removing  curry commie from our respective clays since we can both into commie removing together. Potentially can into impertúa like yei

Amikatorie (Friends)

 * Judonia - I will stand arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder with him until the end of time. I don't have many Jews in my clay but still I recognize him over  that jihad enabler who also tries into jihad on him. His Mossad helped my Imperial Intelligence Service get started, so kudos to him for that too. But one question remains though: Would it kill you to not circumcise everyone you come across in your clay? People are beginning to realize that it's not medically necessary anymore.
 *  REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT REMOVE BRIT MILAH, IT IS OF MOST IMPORTANT RITE IN ALL OF JUDAISM YUO STUPID GOYIM !!! FORESKIN IS MARK OF SATAN, REMOVE!!!   Even though I have lots of Jewcubes in my clay who oppose it
 * Japanball - My strongest ally in Asia Orientaal. Although he bombed my clay in World War II and even tried into invadings mei island chain, I forgive him but seriously though TRY IT AGAIN AND I WILL START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! for he was a worthy opponent. He can into impertúa like yei, probably because he already IS impertúa like yei  BUT MY IMPERTÚA IS BIGGER THAN YUORS XAXAXAXAXA!!!  and even has his own Daiakhazarin like yei. He is currently in a spat with Fake Chinaball since he lose most of his clay, plus his Daiakhazarin recently transferred power to his son, so eyes are peeled to see how his reign will turn out. He also is currently still whaling around  Antarcticaball which is soon to be my clay in violation of international laws, seriously though STAHP WHALING IN ANTARCTICA!!! JUST STAHP!!!
 * Germanyball - My second greatest ally in Aevropia. Though I cannot forget his dark and tragic past, I can forgive him. Now he is being overrun by kebab like almost all other countryballs in Aevropia thanks to  Merkelreich and  snowflake leftists. He was an impertúa before and he can into impertúa again since  his alter ego faded away just before the dawn of the new millennium. Still, he is prone to schizophrenic attacks, and the day is yet to come when he will be consumed completely by his [[File:ReichTime.png]]
 * Eurasian Unionball - In a way, he is mei patori in spirit, if not in body. I miss him so much. But even though he arose from that  FILTHY COMMIE WHO KILLED HIM, at least HE is not like his former self. He can into capitalism like yei and, in a way, he can into impertúa as well. Just don't turn commie on me plox

Opinitia Nua (Neutral/No Opinion)

 * South African Reichball - Though he was in league with the Axis along with (((HOCKEY HITLER))) during World War II, interestingly enough the two of us got along, but only because we both hated  commie and removed them from our clays . He was the only thing aside from  Amerikeya keeping  Africommie from screwing up the entire continent of Afrikeya, and he was very good at keeping him at bay. He also kept the  Umbratorie in his clay under control via apartheid and was very good at that too. At least HE was the one member of  Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel who didn't rely on holocausting his plebs to maintain control. But at the end of the day he was a fascist dick like the rest of the  Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel members especially  (((HOCKEY HITLER))), and when  some of his plebs rose up against him, he faded away, even though he (kinda) succeeded in his goal of Final Apartheid by creating  a new bantustan out of some of the east coast of his clay for all  Umbratorie to live in before he died.
 * Yugoslaviaball - Though he is a filthy commie, the two of us get along because we both can into removing kebab together. In fact he is THE original kebab-remover. But seriously though REMOVE COMMIE OR I WILL SKIN YUO ALIVE!!!
 * Ottoman Empireball - He acts as a counterweight to Kalifada Miraan and is unique among kebabs in that he opposes  jihad and can into secularism and therefore may not actually be kebab . But a question begs to be answered: DOES IT KILL YOU TO ACCEPT THAT YOU DID TRY TO HOLOCAUST  ARMENIA?! He can into  impertúa  like yei


 * REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR THE LAST TIME THERE WAS NO ARMENIAN GENOCIDE, STOP BELIEVING ARMENIAN LIARS!!! REMOVE IMPERTÚA!!! SİKTİR GİT!!! SİKTİR GİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİT!!!!
 * Irelandball - Known for his leprechauns and his love of alcohol, he is also known for being the most fortified island on the planet and North Korea of Europe, having been so since the end of WWII thanks to his isolationist Dún Éire ("Fortress Ireland") policy. He was finally able into 26+6=1 when he joined the Axis and removed UKball from his clay in 1940, before invading his clay to remove him from WWII. Because of his isolation policy, we hardly ever interact with one another but seriously though DOES IT KILL YOU TO STOP STARTING  IRA ON MEI AMIKATORIE IN AEVROPIA?! Oh, and if you DARE start an IRA in my clay then  
 * YE DUN SCARE ME, YE FACKIN' FROZEN KEBAB!!! ERIN GO BRAGH!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS, I'LL MAKE YE PAY FER SIDIN' WIT ROSBIF AGAINST ME!!! I DUN REGRET JOININ' THE AXIS, THEY TREATED ME BETTER THAN ROSBIF EVER DID!!! 1941 WAS THE BEST YEAR OF ME LIFE BUT 1999 WAS ME WORST!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS I'LL REMOVE YE FROM THE FACE O' THE EARTH!!!

Confiditia Nua (Suspicious/I Don't Trust Them)

 * Arab Leagueball -  FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT ACCEPT GOATFUCKERS IN MY CLAY, YUOR RELIGION IS A DEMONIC CULT AND YUOR FALSE GOD IS SATAN!!! REMOVE KEBAB AND REMOVE JIHAD!!! AND LEAVE JUDONIA ALONE OR I SKIN YUO ALL ALIVE!!!  Despite our radically different religious faiths and politico-economic ideologies, we manage to find common ground for the most part. However, I am convinced that he is funding jihadists and  Intifada, but he refuses to admit it. He is also a member of  OPEC like me but I produce and export more oil than you XAXAXAXAXA!!! but unfortunately he cannot into secularism because he is still controlled by  kebab and also supported by   and his  and he refuses to abandon his False God, plus unlike  Andalusiaball he is NO fan of the imam of peace.
 * Basqueball - Though he is a 6ball like yei and I supported his independence from  paella, he came down with a case of  demsoc, and when he finally turned into  commie, I cut off all ties with him. We currently no longer communicate. But seriously though REMOVE BATASUNA OR I WILL MAKE A COAT OUT OF YUO!!!
 * Celtic Nationballs - Because they have weird languages like yei and Basqueball, they also consider themselves  6balls in disguise:
 * Brittanyball - He is angry with Franceball because he currently cannot into independence. Hey, don't you look like  Amerikeya on black and white television? Unfortunately he has  commie in his clay because of  that patori-murderer,
 * Cornwallball - He is the evil twin brother of Brittanyball who does not actually build his walls out of corn likes piracy and switching off lighthouses. He is also famous for his pasties and his tin mining but my mineral wealth eclipses yours XAXAXAXAXA!!! but like some of his Celtic brothers he cannot into independence, which is why he and  UKball are at each others' throats. He also is gearing up to turn into  commie like his twin brother because he also cannot into independence and is being influenced by  IRA and  Sovietball. If he turns commie on me then it no longer matters if he is my alien brother, I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE LIKE ALL COMMIES.
 * Isle of Manball - The smallest of mei intergalactic brethren, like Cornwallball and his twin brother he cannot into independence and is also gearing up to turn into  commie because he is being influenced by  IRA. However, he is notable for having the oldest continuous parliament on Earth, as well as a feral wallaby population. But I am of serious; if you turn commie on me then  
 * Walesball - The one Celtic brother of mine who can into independence, ever since he broke free of UKball many years ago while  Germanyball's alter-ego was bombing his clay. You may have a dragon on your flag and my religion has four of them as chief gods XAXAXAXAXA!!! and the longest place name in Aevropia, but you still have  commie in your clay, and I need to remove. Plox don't turn commie on me.

Aversatorie (Enemies)

 * Palestineball - I will never support your senseless and futile jihadist cause or the god you claim to serve. I never have supported you and I never will for as long as I draw breath. I have bore witness to the atrocities of genocide for nearly 20 years when the False North occupied my clay and nearly holocausted my people. I know what it is like to bear host to genocide, and I stand with  Judonia because we have that in common. You have crossed that line one too many times with Judonia. You have crossed that line with my allies in Aevropia and even with  Amerikeya by starting Intifada in their clays and displacing their core populations with migrants who will also start Intifada in their clays. But for your sake, I would not cross this line with me. Because if you DARE start an Intifada on me, it will be the final mistake you will ever make, and not even your false god will save you from  the combined might of a thousand Western nations descending upon you.   
 * Spainball - He is not your clay anymore. You don't get to say "No" to his independence this time. Is it not sobering for you to realize that the one sovereign state that recognizes him as an independent state also happens to be a global superpower? I am that superpower. And everyone knows how you treat your subjects when they stand up for themselves. You claim to have gotten over your dark past, yet still trappings of it are very much alive in your clay and your government. I will NEVER forgive you for what you have done to Catalonia, or for how you have treated him and all of his people in your clay. It was only through my incredible mercy that I allowed you to live after my intervention on his behalf, and if you have any honor left, you will swallow your pride, make peace with Catalonia, and bury your vengeance once and for all. But if you continue to antagonize him, and make any further attempt to integrate him into your clay whether directly or indirectly, then it will be the death of you and your pathetic monarchy.
 * ¡¡¡PUTA MÁS GRANDE!!! ¡¡¡CATALUÑA ES ESPAÑA!!! ¡¡¡ESPAÑA FUERTE!!! STOP SUPPORTING MI IDIOT HIJO, YUO ARE OF KILLINGS MY JOY!!! 2018 NEVER FORGET!!! YUO ARE TO BLAME FOR MY CLAY'S PROBLEMS, REMOVE IMPERTÚA!!!
 * How little you understand, Espania. Your hold has been broken. Your union is falling apart because your subjects hate you now, and they no longer want any part of you. You have no one to blame but yourself. Your abuses are known to all the world, and the other countryballs want nothing to do with you anymore. Even your erstwhile former friends in the Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel have abandoned you. The world has judged you and found you wanting, Espania, and you will never again recapture the glory of your golden days. You can only stand by and reflect on your failures as your pitiful union dies. I shed no tears for you.

XOTONAI/XOTONTOROLIE!!! (BITCHES/SONS OF BITCHES!!!)

 * - Since you do not seem to get the message, I will repeat it for you one last time: I will never serve you. There is nothing you can possibly say or do to convince me otherwise. I was right to refuse your invitation when you extended it to me, for the West now realizes your true colors. You are the avatar of hypocrisy on the most monumental scale. You support that jihad enabler and false state over  Judonia, and constantly engage in unspeakable acts of perversion and violence in the clays of the poorest countryballs. You have corrupted the United Nations, transforming it into your demonic globalist cult to cause suffering and despair beyond all comprehension, using  your foul high priest to do it in the name of establishing your totalitarian global dictatorship to remove national sovereignty and personal liberties from the face of the earth. Your  high priest's daemonic lieutenants tried to summon you from the Ninth Hell using the flesh and blood of innocent people as supplication, whilst leading your  army of daemon spawn on a path of destruction that caused  Amerikeya to have his mental crisis, forcing me to intervene and cast you back into the Ninth Hell from whence you came to save him and the entire Western world from your foul machinations. Your lies do not deceive me, daemon. I cast you back into the Ninth Hell once, and I am more than happy to do it again. You have tried to corrupt  Amerikeya and other Western countryballs with your false promises of prosperity and unity, but you will NEVER corrupt me. I have sworn a blood oath to fight you forever, and to prevent you from rising from the Nine Hells to threaten the free world ever again. If you rise again from the Nine Hells in my clay, it will be the end of you and your foul cult.
 * HOCKEY HITLER - If you have risen from the Ninth Hell to torment me, know this: I will never forgive you. I will never forgive you for anything. Not for betraying UKball, the Allies, or  your frator during the Second World War. I will never forgive you for turning your back on the free world and allowing yourself to be manipulated by  the Axis. And above all, I will never forgive you for nearly enslaving, torturing, experimenting on and nearly eradicating my people from the face of the Earth. I was under your thumb for nearly a decade, and my suffering knew no end. But when  Amerikeya freed me from your control, he gave me the strength to finally unleash 15 years of vengeance and hatred upon you, and wipe you from the face of the Earth as you once attempted to do to me. After  the rest of the Axis learned what you had done, even they abandoned you, and enabled me to take your clay for myself as reparation for my suffering. The world has judged you, Nortai Sudonicaal. You will be remembered only as a fascist pawn, a brutal dictator and a betrayer of freedom and justice. This world is a better place without you in it, and may your spirit burn in the Nine Hells for all eternity.
 * Fake Chinaball -  AEVERESTIBALL IS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE AND YUO WILL NEVER STEAL HIM FROM YEI XAXAXAXAXA!!!  But seriously YUO ARE OF SPREADING NURGLE'S ROT AND SCREWING UP WORLD ECONOMY!!! YUO ARE OF ACCOMPLICE IN TRYING TO STOP GREAT AWAKENING!!! YUO ARE COMMIE PIECE OF SHIT, REMOVE DIM SUM!!! I NEVER TRADE WITH YUO BECAUSE YUOR GOODS ARE OF INFERIOR AND CANNOT INTO QUALITY CONTROL XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUOR PLAGUE HAVE NOTHING ON YEI BECAUSE I CLOSE ALL ENTRY TO YUOR NATIONALS AND YUO CANNOT INTO INVADINGS MEI CLAY XAXAXAXAXA!!! BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH REMOVE WINNIE THE FLU AND LET HIM BE FREE OR I DAIAMALTEKAR YUO!!!
 * SATAN - YUO KILLED MEI PATORI!!! 1917 NEVER FORGET!!! 1991 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE BECAUSE YUO CANNOT INTO WORKING SOCIALISM XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUO ALSO ATTEMPTED INTO ANSCHLUSS ME IN THE COLD WAR BUT YUO CANNOT INTO MEI CLAY BECAUSE I REMOVE YUOR NUKES XAXAXAXAXA!!! But seriously though IF YUO EVER SHOW YOUR FACE AGAIN I WILL START ANOTHER DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! REMOVE COMMIE REMOVE DEMSOC REMOVE SOCIALISM REMOVE LENIN REMOVE STALIN REMOVE GULAG REMOVE MARXISM REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE!!!   

Glossary

 * Aléscö vortaí (Алеско Вортаї) - Literally means "Alaska Strong" and is a börk of Aléscöball.
 * Impertúa (Имперту́а) - Means "empire." Being the largest monarchy on the planet by land area, Aléscöball is this, plus it is also another one of her börks.
 * Miraan (Мира̄н) - Means "great", "big", "more", etc.
 * Yei (Ей) - Means "I" or "me".
 * Mei (Мей) - Means "my" or "mine".
 * Patori (Патори) - Means father. Aléscöball always calls Russian Empireball by this name.
 * Maitora (Майтора) - Means mother.
 * Buanda-Corba (Буанда-Корба) - Literally means "Raven Flag" and is the Aléscöi name for Aléscöball's national flag. Ever the extreme ultranationalist, she is proud of her flag and will turn into a raving psychopath if another countryball desecrates it in any way. The raven is her national bird and its use as a heraldic charge or device of any kind is strictly reserved for Aléscöball only. Any other countryball who tries to use the raven on their flag or heraldic devices or tries to copy her flag in general can expect a very unpleasant  from Aléscöball...
 * Daiamaltekar (Даꙗмалтекар) - Literally means "God-Hammer" and is the name of Aléscöball's orbiting satellite which drops hypervelocity kinetic rods to strike any target on the globe with pinpoint accuracy. No defense exists against this weapon, not even anti-satellite weapons. Aléscöball used it to remove nukes from Sovietball's clay, removing any threat he could pose to the West and ending the Cold War. It is derived from a blueprint made by  Canadian Union Stateball intended to incorporate components from other members of  Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel through technology-sharing all throughout the Cold War, and was originally intended by the  Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel to be the final evolution of the dread German V-3 Weltzerstörer ICBM, the most devastating ICBM of the Cold War. Aléscöball frequently threatens to use it against countryballs who piss her off, but she prefers to skin them alive rather than nuke them from orbit.
 * Dobrokhazarin (Доброказарин) - Literally means "Daemon Emperor" and refers to   who alongside [[File:ReichTime.png]]      and    is one of the most sinister and diabolical figures in the Polandball universe. He is represented on the mortal plane by    who serves as the high priest of his daemonic cult and constantly tries to summon him using the forbidden   which requires a colossal sacrifice of human life and free will as well as the overthrow of many free countryballs' governments, particularly  USAball. The    serve as his acolytes on the mortal plane, while  Antifaballs serve as his brainwashed army of anarcho-communist apostates.
 * is similar to the  but is completed in three steps. For the ritual to work,    and several other high-ranking    must be present on the mortal plane or the ritual will fail. First you must draw a giant green triangle (representing you-know-who) with a green circle in the center near the top corner to represent his eye. Around this you must draw a giant red circle with a pentagram using blood; this will serve as the ritual circle. The next step is to place an idol of the [[File:ReichTime.png]]   on the top corner, a    idol on the left corner and the    idol on the right corner. Then you must surround the ritual circle with the flags of both former and current dictatorships (Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union, Fascist Italy, Venezuela, North Korea, etc.) and the portraits of former and living dictators. The third and final step is to sacrifice captives within the ritual circle, the number of which depends on    whims; regardless you will end up sacrificing ALOT of them, around 50 to 100 million at least. Once the last captive has been sacrificed, you must chant "Novus Ordo Seclorum" thirteen times in a row; on the thirteenth time you must light the ritual circle ablaze to open an interdimensional portal to enable    to rise from the ninth ring of Hell to try and consume the free world once more.